I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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