Im at strip club and am horny
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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