I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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