Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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