Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
