we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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