Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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