Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize