Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
