I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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