I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
