I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
