His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
