So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
