Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
