Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
