i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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