Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
