What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
