is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
