I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
