Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
