I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
