Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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