I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
