just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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