I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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