I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it glows. i had to have it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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