Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
