it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
