she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize