so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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