Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
