just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
