you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
