i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
