my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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