rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
