they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am available for nakedness
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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