before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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