You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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