she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
