I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
