Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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