Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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