I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize