I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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