We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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