JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
