Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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