You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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