oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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