Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
