just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
