I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
