I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
