No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
