Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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